Thursday, June 21, 2012

Arkham Asylum and a brief daydreaming interlude.

Oh my glob, you guys. I just got finished reading Arkham Asylum. I feel so weeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd. I'm still trying to adjust to reality. It was so amazing, I read it all in one sitting. (Which is good for me, because I have a hard time concentrating on words and pictures.) This is by far my favorite Batman comic.

...Or graphic novel. I guess it's technically a graphic novel. But I like "comic" better. It sounds so much more nerdy. Which appeals to my hipster side. Graphic novel sounds a little pathetic. Somehow.


Sometimes I daydream about being a member of a sexy underground fight club. I'd call myself Sonja and speak German in a Russian accent. I'd make tons of money beatin' up bitches. I'd wear brass knuckles and dye my hair and I'd look like this:

Except I would be sexier. Because I would look like me ;D

I'd have a part-time job at the library. Then as soon as my shift's over, I'd stop by my apartment to grab my brass knuckles and hand wraps and I'd change from my work clothes to sweatpants and a sports bra. After that, I'd drive to the gym on this:

and warm up a bit before digging the key I received for becoming a member of the underground fight club out of my pocket and heading down to the gym basement. I use my key, which looks like this:

(it doesn't look so sexy at first glance, but then you picture it as a key to an underground fight club and it becomes the hottest thing in the world)
Anyway, I use my key to unlock the door

where I find my opponent is waiting for me.

I stare her down and she's all awkward like

And then we fight. And I beat the shit out of her. And then, while she's crying in the corner, nursing her many wounds, I look at her like

I get $800 for winning. I take my money, hop on my motorcycle, and stop by my best friend's vintage gypsy store on the way home. She greets me and she looks like

except she's sexier. Because she would look like herself. ;D
I walk into her store

and I give her the details of the fight.

Afterward, I retire to my apartment to relax with a hot bubble bath and a Batman movie. I heat up some leftover Chinese food for dinner, then I call my boyfriend and we talk about life. (He lives in another state and doesn't know about the sexy underground fight club, but he visits every weekend.) Then we say good night to each other and I fall asleep on the couch. Just another day in the life of a sexy fighter chick.

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