Friday, July 19, 2013

I don't understand my brain, aka How my OCD adversely affects my life

There are some things my brain tells me that make absolutely no sense.
(This list sounds too insane on its own, so I will spice it up with confessions.)
  • If I end a conversation and I haven't spoken or asked about the other person, something awful will happen to them, and I will be sent into a guilt-spiral. 
Confession: I don't wear pants to bed. Even loose shorts aren't enough. I just let it all hang my underwear.
  •  There is an outfit that I had planned to wear when hanging out with one of my friends, and if I wear it or any part of it before seeing him, something bad will happen to him before we get to hang out and I will be sent into a guilt-spiral. 
 Confession: Fanfiction is becoming a real addiction for me.
  • If I have to use the bathroom at night, I have to call out until my mom wakes up before I can leave my room, or else something will get me. 

  • My brain cannot handle saliva anymore. When most people switch from eating steak to mashed potatoes, they simply lick off their fork. The thought of doing that absolutely disgusts me. I have to get a napkin to wipe it off. I also can't lick things off my fingers, and I have to look away when others do it. and when I'm drinking out of a glass, I usually have to wipe off where my mouth has been, even if I'm the only one drinking out of it. There is absolutely no logic here, my mind is just ridiculous.
Confession: I got my wisdom teeth out today. I should be loopy. I was not. I am not. I don't think they gave me too much anesthesia, I remember feeling mouth pain at least twice during my drug-induced dream. I thought I said "nnnnnnggggghhhh" and tried to kick them away, but I must have imagined that part.
  • I used to have to pick at my fingernails until they bled, so they'd feel "clean." I traded in that compulsion for another: painting my nails so I don't have to see my fingernails. I still have to bite them to make them shorter sometimes, but the damage done is much less.
                                                                              SO SEXY. I promise most of the series doesn't look this dark.
  • I have to have the TV on while I'm in the bathtub or else something will come to take advantage of me while I'm naked and vulnerable. I rarely take showers. I have no idea what I'm going to do when I live alone. I will probably have to buy a cat. 
Confession: This is the end of the crazy list. I should be in a mental hospital XP
Also my gurl at Artsy Like Athena made a thing. I have to show you it's amazing
So hilarious I can't
Another thing is I really want this kind of dog because they're so cute
(I'm basically just online all day) (but come on who isn't)
and this guy is still in my dreams
ever since I saw that first video =3

1 comment:

  1. GURL! And Dan, before you found out the ugly truth.